"Are you ready to worship?"

Day 12 of IMPACT | Friday, May 15, 2015

Yesterday the IMPACT team hosted our first Cornerstone event this summer. Throughout the night, we had speakers who gave talks and testimonies, a little bit of praise + worship (which was an incredible blessing for me to be a part of), as well as lots of time for fellowship and getting to know the other Catholics in the area who came to Cornerstone and get a chance to hear their stories and share mine.

I would have to say though, the part of the event that stood out to me and really hit home yesterday night (although I learned a LOT through the event) wasn't even part of the event - it was a moment of realization that occurred right before the event even started.

Backtrack to a few days ago when I was asked to do percussion in the worship team during the Cornerstones this summer. I was absolutely humbled about being asked, but also equally scared and anxious. All the other people in the worship team had many years of experience in their musical instruments, and as someone who is relatively new to leading worship with very little experience under my belt, this was an exciting but also daunting experience for me. In addition, starting out in percussion, the person that actually carries the beat, I placed an enormous amount of pressure on myself and I found myself incredibly nervous during practice and all the way to the event. (Not to mention, I didn't have any musical training so none of the fancy terms mean anything to me.)

We sang just one song - Matt Maher's "All the People Said Amen", which I absolutely love. After practicing the songs a little while, I quickly became incredibly anxious about getting the song right and the possible embarrassment that would happen if I missed a beat, sped up, or messed up. A certain dread filled me and while still attempting to maintain my calm exterior before the event started, inside I couldn't keep it together.

This went on for the duration of the rest of practice until the very end, when everyone stopped practice to welcome the attendees of Cornerstone. It was then when one of my fellow IMPACT missionaries said quite excitedly, "are you ready to worship?"

BAM. It hit me then. We aren't performing. There is no way we're performing. We're praying. We're worshiping. We're playing music to God. For God. Because of God. I've realized I've approached it all wrong - I can't be perfect all the time and mistakes happen, and I simply couldn't put that much pressure on myself: nor should I.

I did the whole song with the rest of the worship team and I approached it simply as a prayer. And quite simply put, it was one of the most amazing and exhilarating feelings I have ever had. I cannot believe the amount of fun I had and the adrenaline I felt on the percussion. I'm not sure how it went in the perspective of everyone else, but I thought it was a blast and most definitely a prayerful experience.

I'm still nervous heading into future Cornerstones and future praise and worship sessions, but I needed that reminder yesterday that everything we do, especially P&W, is for the glory of God.