It's been a long couple months prepping for World Youth Day. Looking back at the past year so far, 2016 has probably been the year I made the biggest advancements and growth in my personal life and my faith, and for that I could not be more grateful to God and the wonderful people that surround me, challenge me, and encourage me to grow and push myself towards greatness.
In just a few hours we begin our journey towards Poland and St. John Paul II's stomping grounds. Even the thought of walking the same ground as St. JPII walked in that holy and beautiful country fills me with much excitement and anticipation.
Perhaps most people are surprised of the fact that I am not expecting too much. It is because of the understanding that everything I will be given during this pilgrimage is a gift from God and everything I experience will be a blessing that is willingly given. So I willingly take - without hesitation, without expectation, without standards of how this will go. Especially considering that this is my first World Youth Day, I really do not know what to expect. But I want to get the most out of this experience and receive everything the Lord wants to give me during these next two weeks.
So off we go. I consider myself very fortunate and very blessed to be able to make a pilgrimage like this; a pilgrimage that many only dream of and desire in their lives. And I know that one thing is for certain: there are many, many graces available and I cannot wait to receive whatever the Lord wishes to give me.
Verso l'alto.
Monday, July 18, 2016
Thursday, March 3, 2016
Halfway through Lent
So we're twenty days out of forty into Lent. (Technically twenty three out of forty-six if you're counting Sundays). So what's the verdict?
The past three weeks have definitely been an incredible experience and journey for me and I spent a lot of that time basking in the Lord's presence and generally enjoying a beautiful and fruitful time. They say that getting to the halfway point is the hardest part of the journey, and that once you're halfway you're basically home free.
Unfortunately, that doesn't really seem to be the case with Lent. At least, it doesn't seem the case for me, for Lent. This is a difficult season... it's a season of repentance, of growth, of discipline, of weeding out old habits and beginning the process of separating yourself from things that are holding you down from your relationship with God. Although that sounds pleasant and wonderful, when you actually get to the humanity level of it, and you see someone like me, you realize it's a lot more painful and a lot more difficult than what may be depicted.
This is a time when we realize that that thirst, that yearning, that we feel in our daily lives can only be satisfied by God. It's a time of saying goodbye to ourselves and realizing that we can't actually do all that much on our own, and that ultimately our ego has to go if we truly want to live. Because only Christ can give life, and only Christ can satisfy the deepest desires of our hearts at those times when we are even too scared to look at ourselves, in our heart of hearts, and see what might be there.
Although I am thankful and relish this incredible time of consolation and comfort from God, I know it cannot last - and the painful process of ridding yourself of poison (with His help) and cleaning those battle wounds? - that has just begun. And it's a journey I am glad to have started, but it's a journey and a process I know will not stop when Lent ends later this month. It's a process that must be committed to, that must be chosen, that must be endured.
Honestly, I have broken all of my Lenten promises at least once since Ash Wednesday, and we just reached the halfway point. As amazing as it would have been to go all forty days keeping those promises and those commitments, and how great bragging rights I can get or whatever if I kept those; I sit here, writing this blog post, and have realized in this process how thankful I am to have actually broken all these 'Lenten promises'. I'm not saying that the commitments and promises meant nothing to me, and I did indeed try my very hardest with them, but what would surviving forty days without internet on my phone have gotten me? What would serving forty days without complaining gotten me? I would have grown in a lot of virtue and probably have been a lot more productive with my time away from home. But looking back now, perhaps breaking these promises taught an even more important lesson to me this Lent, one that perhaps God wanted to teach me more sitting in my current spot in life: that WE'RE NOT PERFECT.
But God is. We can try all we want, but the very fact of the matter is that we can't be perfect. We aim to be perfect, but we're not at the present state. We're not perfect because we don't love God as perfectly as we should. God makes us perfect. God completes us. And only with God and His assistance can we become perfect.
We all try too hard to figure it all out on our own. We want to solve our own problems, we want to think that we don't need to rely on other people. While that's very admirable, there are and will be times in our lives when that simply won't be feasible - there will come a time when we realize that we really can't do it all on our own, no matter how much we don't like to say or hear that fact. I truly believe that God is allowing this period of desolation for me because I need to learn precisely that: I have become too comfortable in doing things by myself and have become too reliant on myself to the point where that can become prideful. And pride is the man's ultimate undoing. It is the root of sin and it is the root of everything that is wrong in this world. Love has no room for pride. I am standing here, in this place in my life - physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, relationally - because of the grace of God and through hundreds of thousands of others souls' influences, whether they be positive, negative, or anything in between.
So although I have been experiencing a lot of pain and suffering the past couple days, I am ready for all that this Holy Lent has to offer me and I am ready for all else that God is trying to speak to me this Lent, and through the rest of my life. We grow in desolation, and although this time, this healing and growing time, is difficult, it is the only way to grow stronger and blossom into all that God is calling us to be.
So fight on, brothers and sisters. Pray for me.
Pax semper vobiscum.
The past three weeks have definitely been an incredible experience and journey for me and I spent a lot of that time basking in the Lord's presence and generally enjoying a beautiful and fruitful time. They say that getting to the halfway point is the hardest part of the journey, and that once you're halfway you're basically home free.
Unfortunately, that doesn't really seem to be the case with Lent. At least, it doesn't seem the case for me, for Lent. This is a difficult season... it's a season of repentance, of growth, of discipline, of weeding out old habits and beginning the process of separating yourself from things that are holding you down from your relationship with God. Although that sounds pleasant and wonderful, when you actually get to the humanity level of it, and you see someone like me, you realize it's a lot more painful and a lot more difficult than what may be depicted.
This is a time when we realize that that thirst, that yearning, that we feel in our daily lives can only be satisfied by God. It's a time of saying goodbye to ourselves and realizing that we can't actually do all that much on our own, and that ultimately our ego has to go if we truly want to live. Because only Christ can give life, and only Christ can satisfy the deepest desires of our hearts at those times when we are even too scared to look at ourselves, in our heart of hearts, and see what might be there.
Although I am thankful and relish this incredible time of consolation and comfort from God, I know it cannot last - and the painful process of ridding yourself of poison (with His help) and cleaning those battle wounds? - that has just begun. And it's a journey I am glad to have started, but it's a journey and a process I know will not stop when Lent ends later this month. It's a process that must be committed to, that must be chosen, that must be endured.
Honestly, I have broken all of my Lenten promises at least once since Ash Wednesday, and we just reached the halfway point. As amazing as it would have been to go all forty days keeping those promises and those commitments, and how great bragging rights I can get or whatever if I kept those; I sit here, writing this blog post, and have realized in this process how thankful I am to have actually broken all these 'Lenten promises'. I'm not saying that the commitments and promises meant nothing to me, and I did indeed try my very hardest with them, but what would surviving forty days without internet on my phone have gotten me? What would serving forty days without complaining gotten me? I would have grown in a lot of virtue and probably have been a lot more productive with my time away from home. But looking back now, perhaps breaking these promises taught an even more important lesson to me this Lent, one that perhaps God wanted to teach me more sitting in my current spot in life: that WE'RE NOT PERFECT.
But God is. We can try all we want, but the very fact of the matter is that we can't be perfect. We aim to be perfect, but we're not at the present state. We're not perfect because we don't love God as perfectly as we should. God makes us perfect. God completes us. And only with God and His assistance can we become perfect.
We all try too hard to figure it all out on our own. We want to solve our own problems, we want to think that we don't need to rely on other people. While that's very admirable, there are and will be times in our lives when that simply won't be feasible - there will come a time when we realize that we really can't do it all on our own, no matter how much we don't like to say or hear that fact. I truly believe that God is allowing this period of desolation for me because I need to learn precisely that: I have become too comfortable in doing things by myself and have become too reliant on myself to the point where that can become prideful. And pride is the man's ultimate undoing. It is the root of sin and it is the root of everything that is wrong in this world. Love has no room for pride. I am standing here, in this place in my life - physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, relationally - because of the grace of God and through hundreds of thousands of others souls' influences, whether they be positive, negative, or anything in between.
So although I have been experiencing a lot of pain and suffering the past couple days, I am ready for all that this Holy Lent has to offer me and I am ready for all else that God is trying to speak to me this Lent, and through the rest of my life. We grow in desolation, and although this time, this healing and growing time, is difficult, it is the only way to grow stronger and blossom into all that God is calling us to be.
So fight on, brothers and sisters. Pray for me.
Pax semper vobiscum.
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
Mercy.
During a truly striking talk I heard during CCO Rise Up this Christmas, André Regnier, the co-founder of CCO, mentioned that "we all have a love language. The Father's love language is MERCY." This is how God communicates His love for us - through this personal, freely offered mercy. And how life-changing that mercy is.
That's incredible on so many levels to hear, especially in this Extraordinary Jubilee Year of Mercy. The Father offers this mercy to us, and it is absolutely nothing that we deserve or merit for ourselves - but something generously given as a demonstration of the Father's heart.
That mercy changes us.
We all need to experience this mercy, to experience this forgiveness. Even thinking back to my own 'conversion', or reawakening, or reinvigoration back into the faith (or what have you), the biggest part of that was an experience of the Father's love, the Father's heart - through the mercy that He offers us in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. It's incredible the effect of simple words "You are forgiven" can have on us and our lives. It's a burden lifted, it's a burden carried by Jesus on His cross that we no longer have to carry - and as a result, we are changed.
This freedom and joy is offered to all of us and it's incredible how much that we all grasp at just about everything else to find that freedom and acceptance and peace and joy - but fall just short of finding God. The Evil One wants us to believe that we are not worthy of God, that we are not worthy of His forgiveness and His mercy that He offers us. That we have fallen into a hole that is so deep, that now because we are no longer worthy of achieving God, we must look towards the world and 'settle' for something that's smaller than the great mercy of God.
But God doesn't want us to settle. He wants us - He's pursuing us.
And that is something that is so beautiful that I cannot begin to fathom. Is our God really that good? Is He that relentless? Somedays I find it hard to believe myself. Well, most of the time. It's hard to imagine a God that is so good, so loving, so perfect - because all we have to work with here on earth is a broken world, and we are a broken people. But I can have trust that it is my brokenness that God desires to heal, and that is what He came down to heal. And that is what He is offering every day in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. It's perhaps a mystery that I will never understand until I meet Him, but it is a mystery that I choose to delight in.
Rise Up in Montréal was a stunning experience for me and really helped me in my prayer life and relationship with God. I was given an opportunity to just let Him delight in me. Everything was so beautiful, and the experiences I had were so blessed - I could hardly imagine the beauty of God after experiencing the beautiful Notre Dame, the expansive Mary, Queen of the World Cathedral, and the humble but stunning St. Joseph's Oratory. Each of these three churches took my breath away - and how much more infinitely beautiful and stunning is God, compared to these man-made buildings, man-made interpretations of God?
We are no longer slaves to fear, to our sin, to our doubts, to our brokenness. We are children of God. And it is time for us to let Him delight in us as we run towards His awaiting arms of mercy.
That's incredible on so many levels to hear, especially in this Extraordinary Jubilee Year of Mercy. The Father offers this mercy to us, and it is absolutely nothing that we deserve or merit for ourselves - but something generously given as a demonstration of the Father's heart.
That mercy changes us.
We all need to experience this mercy, to experience this forgiveness. Even thinking back to my own 'conversion', or reawakening, or reinvigoration back into the faith (or what have you), the biggest part of that was an experience of the Father's love, the Father's heart - through the mercy that He offers us in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. It's incredible the effect of simple words "You are forgiven" can have on us and our lives. It's a burden lifted, it's a burden carried by Jesus on His cross that we no longer have to carry - and as a result, we are changed.
This freedom and joy is offered to all of us and it's incredible how much that we all grasp at just about everything else to find that freedom and acceptance and peace and joy - but fall just short of finding God. The Evil One wants us to believe that we are not worthy of God, that we are not worthy of His forgiveness and His mercy that He offers us. That we have fallen into a hole that is so deep, that now because we are no longer worthy of achieving God, we must look towards the world and 'settle' for something that's smaller than the great mercy of God.
But God doesn't want us to settle. He wants us - He's pursuing us.
And that is something that is so beautiful that I cannot begin to fathom. Is our God really that good? Is He that relentless? Somedays I find it hard to believe myself. Well, most of the time. It's hard to imagine a God that is so good, so loving, so perfect - because all we have to work with here on earth is a broken world, and we are a broken people. But I can have trust that it is my brokenness that God desires to heal, and that is what He came down to heal. And that is what He is offering every day in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. It's perhaps a mystery that I will never understand until I meet Him, but it is a mystery that I choose to delight in.
Rise Up in Montréal was a stunning experience for me and really helped me in my prayer life and relationship with God. I was given an opportunity to just let Him delight in me. Everything was so beautiful, and the experiences I had were so blessed - I could hardly imagine the beauty of God after experiencing the beautiful Notre Dame, the expansive Mary, Queen of the World Cathedral, and the humble but stunning St. Joseph's Oratory. Each of these three churches took my breath away - and how much more infinitely beautiful and stunning is God, compared to these man-made buildings, man-made interpretations of God?
We are no longer slaves to fear, to our sin, to our doubts, to our brokenness. We are children of God. And it is time for us to let Him delight in us as we run towards His awaiting arms of mercy.
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