Yesterday I finished my last exam of the year and thus, my second year of university came to an end. It's simply incredible how fast the time flies and how in a blink of an eye, I am halfway through my undergraduate degree.
Looking back, this year was a very important year of my life filled with many challenges, lessons learned, discoveries, friendships, reparation, and discernment. I've discovered the whole journey is not as straightforward as I initially imagined and that a lot more discernment, living, and praying goes into all the deciding.
This year I served on the student executive of Catholic Christian Outreach, an organization which significantly changed the course of my faith life over the past two years. Through CCO I discovered my desire for a personal relationship with Jesus and that motivated me to fervently search for ways to fulfill that desire - through the sacraments, through the Eucharist, through spiritual direction, through personal prayer. In turn, all of this allowed me to learn a lot more about myself and address and strengthen my weaknesses.
Perhaps the single most difficult decision this year was deciding to go on mission this summer. A lot of fear and a lot of uncertainty was present and I described a lot of that in my previous reflection in February. It was terrifying for me that I didn't know what was in store (and still don't know a lot of it... to be honest) and as someone who plans a lot and someone who sticks by a set a course of action, this was something that frightened me quite a lot. The mission so far, even though I haven't started yet, has been a big lesson on trust in the Lord that He will indeed provide. So far, He has certainly been doing wonderful things for me in preparation for mission that I never knew were possible. Now a week away from mission, I am filled with a certain sense of excitement but also peace as I embark for the summer.
My future is certainly unknown and I don't know what's in store for me in the next years, or even the next few months on mission: but I am confident that the Lord knows what He is doing, even though I won't necessarily always know. I'm slowly learning to let go and gain peace from that.
Onwards.
