Day 24 of IMPACT | May 27, 2015
The past couple days have been difficult for me, in a large part because of the fact of the increasing lack of sleep that I've been experiencing, and the lapses of attention and motivation resulting from that.
I never imagined that I would be saying this, but working a part-time job as well as going on mission was a lot demanding than I could have ever imagined it to be. As a large multi-tasker, insane planner and bender of time (not really), I have done many different things all at once in the past, and have gotten by really well. However, this experience right now, although familiar, is strangely different - because of the timing of my shifts and mission activities, my sleep schedule has no choice but be compromised: and a sleep-deprived Thomas is one that, I have to admit, is unfortunately not pleasant to be around (that is something I will have to work on!)
The time so far has been incredible on mission and I can already feel myself challenged and growing in many ways that I do not see myself growing in if I were not to go on mission. One part of this, especially, is living in community. Living with six other young men (and thirteen, if you count the seven downstairs - basically all the men on IMPACT) is a challenge but an experience that I would not trade for the world (yet).
However, the main point of the reflection I wanted to share today was how much God desires to communicate with us, help us, and show us His love and affection for us. In light of the struggles I have been facing in the past couple days, I have desperately desired someone I could comfortably talk to about it. While I could discuss with some of the members of my house (and I am trying!), it is often good to talk about someone looking in from a different perspective - and lo and behold, after saying this prayer during work this morning, two of my fellow IMPACTers visited me at work ten minutes before I was off. After spending the afternoon with them and sharing with them my thoughts, I felt an immense burden lifted off my shoulders and sharing allowed me to grow and put into words what I was feeling. It was incredibly comforting to be able to walk with my fellow IMPACTers on this journey and know that there will be people to walk with me and support me, and keep in me accountable during mission and also throughout the rest of my life.
After a prayer of thanksgiving and some time spend with my house, I realized that the struggles I'm facing are meant to help me grow - and most important, they are there so that I can continue to grow in trust of the Lord that He will provide for me and give me His support.
Ultimately, we're all walking on a journey to God. And through struggle and trials, I guess, with the help of my brothers and sisters, I make a few more steps towards that ultimate goal.
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Saturday, May 23, 2015
Beauty of the call
Day 20 of IMPACT | May 23, 2015
I'm going to start by admitting that this post was written a little bit after the fact, but I dated it on the day of the ordination so I can place it better in context for my personal reflection of my mission.
Today I was given an incredible opportunity to attend a priestly ordination in the Archdiocese of Vancouver. The deacon was a friend of mine and I was absolutely thrilled to be attending for the first time, the Sacrament of Holy Orders.
The whole Mass left me speechless and in awe of the beauty of God and the beauty of the Sacrament. As outward signs of inward grace, seeing this Sacrament in particular take place filled me with a deep sense of joy and simply awe. The community of priests, in particular, when they came up and one by one laid their hands on the new priest and embraced him, gave me such an excitement and beautiful feeling inside. The fact that a new priest is supported by so many other priests, like a brotherhood, is so wonderful to me. There was so much grace that was poured out during that day and it was absolutely beautiful to me.
The ordination was a blessing for me because it allowed me to see the beginning of the fulfillment of that vocation for that new priest. It showed me the beauty of the call that God gives each and every one of us - our vocation. After greeting the new priest after his ordination, he radiated pure joy and importantly, peace. It was so wonderful to see him discovering God's vocation for him and now making the decision to enter into that vocation.
I'm continuing to learn that God always desires the best for us and his call for us is the call that will give us the most fulfillment, but also importantly, the best way for us to serve others and bring others to Heaven with us. The two sides of our faith - holiness and mission - is ultimately best fulfilled through our vocation. Our God who loves us so much has personally designed a plan for each of us to live - and I cannot wait to discover what God has in plan for me.
I'm going to start by admitting that this post was written a little bit after the fact, but I dated it on the day of the ordination so I can place it better in context for my personal reflection of my mission.
Today I was given an incredible opportunity to attend a priestly ordination in the Archdiocese of Vancouver. The deacon was a friend of mine and I was absolutely thrilled to be attending for the first time, the Sacrament of Holy Orders.
The whole Mass left me speechless and in awe of the beauty of God and the beauty of the Sacrament. As outward signs of inward grace, seeing this Sacrament in particular take place filled me with a deep sense of joy and simply awe. The community of priests, in particular, when they came up and one by one laid their hands on the new priest and embraced him, gave me such an excitement and beautiful feeling inside. The fact that a new priest is supported by so many other priests, like a brotherhood, is so wonderful to me. There was so much grace that was poured out during that day and it was absolutely beautiful to me.
The ordination was a blessing for me because it allowed me to see the beginning of the fulfillment of that vocation for that new priest. It showed me the beauty of the call that God gives each and every one of us - our vocation. After greeting the new priest after his ordination, he radiated pure joy and importantly, peace. It was so wonderful to see him discovering God's vocation for him and now making the decision to enter into that vocation.
I'm continuing to learn that God always desires the best for us and his call for us is the call that will give us the most fulfillment, but also importantly, the best way for us to serve others and bring others to Heaven with us. The two sides of our faith - holiness and mission - is ultimately best fulfilled through our vocation. Our God who loves us so much has personally designed a plan for each of us to live - and I cannot wait to discover what God has in plan for me.
Friday, May 15, 2015
"Are you ready to worship?"
Day 12 of IMPACT | Friday, May 15, 2015
Yesterday the IMPACT team hosted our first Cornerstone event this summer. Throughout the night, we had speakers who gave talks and testimonies, a little bit of praise + worship (which was an incredible blessing for me to be a part of), as well as lots of time for fellowship and getting to know the other Catholics in the area who came to Cornerstone and get a chance to hear their stories and share mine.
I would have to say though, the part of the event that stood out to me and really hit home yesterday night (although I learned a LOT through the event) wasn't even part of the event - it was a moment of realization that occurred right before the event even started.
Backtrack to a few days ago when I was asked to do percussion in the worship team during the Cornerstones this summer. I was absolutely humbled about being asked, but also equally scared and anxious. All the other people in the worship team had many years of experience in their musical instruments, and as someone who is relatively new to leading worship with very little experience under my belt, this was an exciting but also daunting experience for me. In addition, starting out in percussion, the person that actually carries the beat, I placed an enormous amount of pressure on myself and I found myself incredibly nervous during practice and all the way to the event. (Not to mention, I didn't have any musical training so none of the fancy terms mean anything to me.)
We sang just one song - Matt Maher's "All the People Said Amen", which I absolutely love. After practicing the songs a little while, I quickly became incredibly anxious about getting the song right and the possible embarrassment that would happen if I missed a beat, sped up, or messed up. A certain dread filled me and while still attempting to maintain my calm exterior before the event started, inside I couldn't keep it together.
This went on for the duration of the rest of practice until the very end, when everyone stopped practice to welcome the attendees of Cornerstone. It was then when one of my fellow IMPACT missionaries said quite excitedly, "are you ready to worship?"
BAM. It hit me then. We aren't performing. There is no way we're performing. We're praying. We're worshiping. We're playing music to God. For God. Because of God. I've realized I've approached it all wrong - I can't be perfect all the time and mistakes happen, and I simply couldn't put that much pressure on myself: nor should I.
I did the whole song with the rest of the worship team and I approached it simply as a prayer. And quite simply put, it was one of the most amazing and exhilarating feelings I have ever had. I cannot believe the amount of fun I had and the adrenaline I felt on the percussion. I'm not sure how it went in the perspective of everyone else, but I thought it was a blast and most definitely a prayerful experience.
I'm still nervous heading into future Cornerstones and future praise and worship sessions, but I needed that reminder yesterday that everything we do, especially P&W, is for the glory of God.
Yesterday the IMPACT team hosted our first Cornerstone event this summer. Throughout the night, we had speakers who gave talks and testimonies, a little bit of praise + worship (which was an incredible blessing for me to be a part of), as well as lots of time for fellowship and getting to know the other Catholics in the area who came to Cornerstone and get a chance to hear their stories and share mine.
I would have to say though, the part of the event that stood out to me and really hit home yesterday night (although I learned a LOT through the event) wasn't even part of the event - it was a moment of realization that occurred right before the event even started.
Backtrack to a few days ago when I was asked to do percussion in the worship team during the Cornerstones this summer. I was absolutely humbled about being asked, but also equally scared and anxious. All the other people in the worship team had many years of experience in their musical instruments, and as someone who is relatively new to leading worship with very little experience under my belt, this was an exciting but also daunting experience for me. In addition, starting out in percussion, the person that actually carries the beat, I placed an enormous amount of pressure on myself and I found myself incredibly nervous during practice and all the way to the event. (Not to mention, I didn't have any musical training so none of the fancy terms mean anything to me.)
We sang just one song - Matt Maher's "All the People Said Amen", which I absolutely love. After practicing the songs a little while, I quickly became incredibly anxious about getting the song right and the possible embarrassment that would happen if I missed a beat, sped up, or messed up. A certain dread filled me and while still attempting to maintain my calm exterior before the event started, inside I couldn't keep it together.
This went on for the duration of the rest of practice until the very end, when everyone stopped practice to welcome the attendees of Cornerstone. It was then when one of my fellow IMPACT missionaries said quite excitedly, "are you ready to worship?"
BAM. It hit me then. We aren't performing. There is no way we're performing. We're praying. We're worshiping. We're playing music to God. For God. Because of God. I've realized I've approached it all wrong - I can't be perfect all the time and mistakes happen, and I simply couldn't put that much pressure on myself: nor should I.
I did the whole song with the rest of the worship team and I approached it simply as a prayer. And quite simply put, it was one of the most amazing and exhilarating feelings I have ever had. I cannot believe the amount of fun I had and the adrenaline I felt on the percussion. I'm not sure how it went in the perspective of everyone else, but I thought it was a blast and most definitely a prayerful experience.
I'm still nervous heading into future Cornerstones and future praise and worship sessions, but I needed that reminder yesterday that everything we do, especially P&W, is for the glory of God.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Seeing every day as a blessing
Day 9 of IMPACT | May 12, 2015
This is a post I've been meaning to write for the past couple days - but unfortunately (or fortunately!!) our first day at our parishes this Sunday and our first free night yesterday night made me end up going non-stop all weekend (and slacking off on sleep, but that's another story).
It has been such a blessed weekend. It was incredible to see the large amount of work the Lord and our parish pastor went to ensure our successes and an easy transition for the IMPACT team to arrive there. All I can say that I was incredibly shocked, humbled, and moved by the joy and welcome of the parishioners and my truly inspiring and wonderful team.
I met a woman after one of the Sunday Masses at my parish who I got to sit down and chat with for a while and who donated a large box of donations - like a "survivor kit" - to me and the rest of my team at the parish. I got a chance to share a little bit of my story and what got me to come to IMPACT, and she shared with me hers - a moving, truly inspiring story of her and her daughter. It truly shocked me and humbled me with her openness towards me and the rest of the IMPACT team, and ultimately her beautiful joyful attitude despite being in the face of many, many challenges and trials that faced both her and her daughter. When I told her that her joy inspires me, she told me, "every day is a gift from God and a blessing." This is a mentality that I always try to adopt in my life, but it is no surprise that it is very difficult. However, seeing her joy greatly inspires me and greatly motivates me and gives me hope.
The world had a negativity bias on it - and that's not fair. Not to us, and most certainly not to God. The truth of the matter is, and I am coming to realize, we are blessed beyond our wildest imaginations - and most definitely more than challenges are sent to us. The God of the universe loves us personally and always wants the best for us. It is so easy, and I am to exception, to focus on just the things that go wrong in life rather than all the many more times that things go right or that things fall into place. It's such a downer!
Even though that lovely woman was carrying the weight of her own cross, she still found it in her heart to be joyful, cheerful and giving to others. I am most humbled by the donations she offered to my parish team out of the little that she had - she was thinking of us before we even thought of her: it was absolutely humbling and left me speechless. We are all called to be generous - and trust that God will provide for us in turn. God uses all of us to provide for each other: and that is something that's incredibly beautiful. I think ultimately, every day is an incredible gift from our good Lord and it's up to use to use it wisely - for good, and tackle the negativity bias, or for not-so-good, and decide to conform to the negativity bias.
I'm coming to realize that going on mission this summer in Vancouver is not only about God changing lives through me. I think more importantly, God is using others to change mine.
This is a post I've been meaning to write for the past couple days - but unfortunately (or fortunately!!) our first day at our parishes this Sunday and our first free night yesterday night made me end up going non-stop all weekend (and slacking off on sleep, but that's another story).
It has been such a blessed weekend. It was incredible to see the large amount of work the Lord and our parish pastor went to ensure our successes and an easy transition for the IMPACT team to arrive there. All I can say that I was incredibly shocked, humbled, and moved by the joy and welcome of the parishioners and my truly inspiring and wonderful team.
I met a woman after one of the Sunday Masses at my parish who I got to sit down and chat with for a while and who donated a large box of donations - like a "survivor kit" - to me and the rest of my team at the parish. I got a chance to share a little bit of my story and what got me to come to IMPACT, and she shared with me hers - a moving, truly inspiring story of her and her daughter. It truly shocked me and humbled me with her openness towards me and the rest of the IMPACT team, and ultimately her beautiful joyful attitude despite being in the face of many, many challenges and trials that faced both her and her daughter. When I told her that her joy inspires me, she told me, "every day is a gift from God and a blessing." This is a mentality that I always try to adopt in my life, but it is no surprise that it is very difficult. However, seeing her joy greatly inspires me and greatly motivates me and gives me hope.
The world had a negativity bias on it - and that's not fair. Not to us, and most certainly not to God. The truth of the matter is, and I am coming to realize, we are blessed beyond our wildest imaginations - and most definitely more than challenges are sent to us. The God of the universe loves us personally and always wants the best for us. It is so easy, and I am to exception, to focus on just the things that go wrong in life rather than all the many more times that things go right or that things fall into place. It's such a downer!
Even though that lovely woman was carrying the weight of her own cross, she still found it in her heart to be joyful, cheerful and giving to others. I am most humbled by the donations she offered to my parish team out of the little that she had - she was thinking of us before we even thought of her: it was absolutely humbling and left me speechless. We are all called to be generous - and trust that God will provide for us in turn. God uses all of us to provide for each other: and that is something that's incredibly beautiful. I think ultimately, every day is an incredible gift from our good Lord and it's up to use to use it wisely - for good, and tackle the negativity bias, or for not-so-good, and decide to conform to the negativity bias.
I'm coming to realize that going on mission this summer in Vancouver is not only about God changing lives through me. I think more importantly, God is using others to change mine.
Saturday, May 9, 2015
He can change your life forever.
Day 5 of IMPACT | May 8, 2015
This short reflection occurred to me during one of our PW prayers this morning after a wonderful few days in retreat and preparing for our work in our parishes next week. An encounter - a true, personal experience - with God, in reality, changes you in a way that's difficult to describe. It is from this desire that part of the motivation of my missionary work arises: my desire for others to experience this life-changing experience God provides.
Truth is, I'm realizing that we all have a void in our hearts that we need to fill. And the world will try and fill us with all these things that seem great but in reality leave us more hungry and more thirsty. However, I realize that a hole that is designed for God to fill, can't be filled by anything but God himself. We search so much and we are so desperate to fill it. We want so much to be happy, to be at peace with ourselves, to be joyful in our daily endeavours.
I believe that a true encounter with Christ changes the direction of your life.
This short reflection occurred to me during one of our PW prayers this morning after a wonderful few days in retreat and preparing for our work in our parishes next week. An encounter - a true, personal experience - with God, in reality, changes you in a way that's difficult to describe. It is from this desire that part of the motivation of my missionary work arises: my desire for others to experience this life-changing experience God provides.
Truth is, I'm realizing that we all have a void in our hearts that we need to fill. And the world will try and fill us with all these things that seem great but in reality leave us more hungry and more thirsty. However, I realize that a hole that is designed for God to fill, can't be filled by anything but God himself. We search so much and we are so desperate to fill it. We want so much to be happy, to be at peace with ourselves, to be joyful in our daily endeavours.
I believe that a true encounter with Christ changes the direction of your life.
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Climbing without the safety net.
Day 3 of IMPACT | May 6, 2015
The past few weeks have been large blessings for me as I attended and helped out at the annual Archdiocesan Youth Day as well as began my mission with Catholic Christian Outreach. A common theme running throughout this time was just how much the Lord was calling me to grow in faith in Him and trust that He indeed has a plan (a GREAT plan) for me that will fill my future with hope and joy (cf. Jeremiah 29:11).
The past couple months were indeed difficult months for me as I had to make many difficult decisions about matters I didn't know too much about. The biggest of these decisions was going on mission with CCO. There was so much I didn't (and still don't) know, and the fact that I was unable to make a plan or envision the next few months was completely terrifying. As a person who likes a certain degree of routine and a certain degree of planned activities, this was completely out of my comfort zone and it was a difficult decision to make simply because I couldn't see what was happening. That's where the Lord was calling me to trust. I relied so much on the safety net that I set up for myself that I was completely unable to let the Lord work in my life.
In fact, even with just the past three days of community living, orientation, and my first experiences of mission, it is terrifying to me what could've happened if I said 'no' back in February and decided to take summer school instead to get ahead of my degree. I would not have met 38 other incredible missionaries from across Canada, who are all passionate and on fire for their faith and their relationship with Jesus, I would not have heard their stories, and I would not have gotten a chance to really grow in both my calling to holiness and mission. And yes, this is just three days into mission!
The past couple days have been such blessings for me. Without a doubt, this is something I know for sure now that God was calling me to do. I know there will be sufferings in the future, but the very fact is, the past couple days just felt so right for me, now it is hard to envision doing anything else with my summer this year because going on IMPACT, so far, now just seems like the no-brainer.
Looking back on this path of preparation to IMPACT, I am realizing now just how much the Lord sustained me and provided for me: in my fundraising, in my prayer, in my decisions, in my life in general. I had so much fear entering that the Lord has completely resolved or taken away from me now. It is hard to imagine doing this without the Lord's help or His providence. Looking back now, it is simply so easy to see so many of the events that the Lord had a hand in and played a role in. And for that I am grateful: both for Him and all the other wonderful people he sent in my path to support and encourage me during the preparation phase and now.
There is still so much for me to learn and I haven't even entered my parish with my team yet (we haven't found those out yet either, haha). However, I am so incredibly excited for what the next few months hold. The sense of community I am feeling right now with my 13 other brothers just feels right. I know this is where I am meant to be this summer and I feel so much peace and joy in realizing that. There are going to be many experiences I haven't tried and many roles I may be asked to play that I haven't played before - and I am excited for all of these even though a majority of them scare me. But I am learning to trust that the Lord will provide for me.
One of the things to the 'best summer evah' that our leaders suggested was to do something that scares you this summer. I fully intend to take that challenge: and it is with that boldness that I hope to approach this mission.
Pray for me and I for you!
The past few weeks have been large blessings for me as I attended and helped out at the annual Archdiocesan Youth Day as well as began my mission with Catholic Christian Outreach. A common theme running throughout this time was just how much the Lord was calling me to grow in faith in Him and trust that He indeed has a plan (a GREAT plan) for me that will fill my future with hope and joy (cf. Jeremiah 29:11).
The past couple months were indeed difficult months for me as I had to make many difficult decisions about matters I didn't know too much about. The biggest of these decisions was going on mission with CCO. There was so much I didn't (and still don't) know, and the fact that I was unable to make a plan or envision the next few months was completely terrifying. As a person who likes a certain degree of routine and a certain degree of planned activities, this was completely out of my comfort zone and it was a difficult decision to make simply because I couldn't see what was happening. That's where the Lord was calling me to trust. I relied so much on the safety net that I set up for myself that I was completely unable to let the Lord work in my life.
In fact, even with just the past three days of community living, orientation, and my first experiences of mission, it is terrifying to me what could've happened if I said 'no' back in February and decided to take summer school instead to get ahead of my degree. I would not have met 38 other incredible missionaries from across Canada, who are all passionate and on fire for their faith and their relationship with Jesus, I would not have heard their stories, and I would not have gotten a chance to really grow in both my calling to holiness and mission. And yes, this is just three days into mission!
The past couple days have been such blessings for me. Without a doubt, this is something I know for sure now that God was calling me to do. I know there will be sufferings in the future, but the very fact is, the past couple days just felt so right for me, now it is hard to envision doing anything else with my summer this year because going on IMPACT, so far, now just seems like the no-brainer.
Looking back on this path of preparation to IMPACT, I am realizing now just how much the Lord sustained me and provided for me: in my fundraising, in my prayer, in my decisions, in my life in general. I had so much fear entering that the Lord has completely resolved or taken away from me now. It is hard to imagine doing this without the Lord's help or His providence. Looking back now, it is simply so easy to see so many of the events that the Lord had a hand in and played a role in. And for that I am grateful: both for Him and all the other wonderful people he sent in my path to support and encourage me during the preparation phase and now.
There is still so much for me to learn and I haven't even entered my parish with my team yet (we haven't found those out yet either, haha). However, I am so incredibly excited for what the next few months hold. The sense of community I am feeling right now with my 13 other brothers just feels right. I know this is where I am meant to be this summer and I feel so much peace and joy in realizing that. There are going to be many experiences I haven't tried and many roles I may be asked to play that I haven't played before - and I am excited for all of these even though a majority of them scare me. But I am learning to trust that the Lord will provide for me.
One of the things to the 'best summer evah' that our leaders suggested was to do something that scares you this summer. I fully intend to take that challenge: and it is with that boldness that I hope to approach this mission.
Pray for me and I for you!
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