Fearless

It's so easy to enter into an endeavour when we feel we have control over it. If we can feel like everything is planned out, everything is ready, and all obstacles are adjusted for and accounted for, it is actually quite easy to hop right into it. For me, everything has to be this way, it allows me to be comfortable when everything is planned, and everything is organized, and everything is accounted for. I don't like surprises, and if I have do something where there is even a hint of a possibility that I won't be able to expect the outcome or what will happen, I get uncomfortable and tend to back out. For me, being comfortable is something that is so important to me that I pretty much would never do anything uncomfortable.

But that's exactly what the Lord is calling me to do.

The past couple weeks have been a large for me as I discerned possible pathways for the summer. One particular path frightened me greatly, but it seemingly was the path the Lord wanted me to go (of course.)

I think the Lord throws obstacles and choices in my path as a way for me to grow in specific virtues. In particular, in this episode of my life, that virtue happens to be trust. The reason I don't do many things is fear. It's the ultimate fear that I'll be caught off guard, that I'll be called to do something I'm not comfortable with, or to do something that I ultimately would dislike doing. It's the fear of failure, it's the fear of being placed outside of my comfort zone.

But the Lord never intended for us to be comfortable. Pope Benedict XVI said something that still resonates with me always: "The world offers you comfort. But you were not made for comfort, you were made for greatness." Imagine that. It is so easy for me to do the less daunting thing, to do the thing that I will know the result to, that I know what will happen. No surprises. But what would the accomplishment in that be, where would the joy be? How would the world change if we all stayed in our own comfort zones and never dared to enter into a place that would make us even mildly uncomfortable?

To be Christian, to be Catholic: the last thing we want to do is be comfortable. In our comfort zones, we will never reach anyone that the Lord wants to reach. We would never be able to do His work in this world. If we all did that, I don't even think I would have my faith to this day. The Church needs fearless leaders.

I think for me, being fearless means so much more than just not being afraid of anything. Being fearless means letting go of my own reservations, doing the work that I am called to, and letting (more, trusting that) God take control after that. It's action and mentality based on the unwavering trust and love in the Lord that He will indeed provide for us.

It's so hard for me to let go of that control. I'm continually learning to let God take the steering wheel and drive me where he wants me to go. I go into it, and I let God do the rest. I've seen the Holy Spirit move in hearts and I've seen Him do incredible things through normal, ordinary people. I know God can do amazing things and I know he's working and active in my life. Time for me to begin trusting that the God of the Universe knows what He's doing.

Orate pro me, et pro vobis orabo.